Concerning Red

Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) is a retiree with a very dull time of it. For kicks, he tears up his retirement checks so he can call Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) at the help desk. Of course, the fact that he, as he puts it, "likes" her might have something to do with that, too. But then one day a bunch of assassins come to his house and try to kill him. As an ex-CIA agent, Frank takes care of them without a problem. Thrown into a fight he didn't choose, he still leaps at the chance to get back into some of his old habits - and save (and impress) Sarah in the meantime.

This is going to sound like a very strange parallel, so brace yourself. This movie is like a Jane Austen story with a lot of bullets. Oh, there's a lot more excitement in Red (and a lot more bullets) and perhaps the language is a little worse. But Red is driven by the funny, likeable characters, just like an Austen story.

First there's Frank, who's a tough guy with a giant soft spot. Then there are all his old spy friends - Joe (Morgan Freeman), Victoria (Helen Mirren), and especially the really odd and extremely paranoid Marvin (John Malkovich). Each has his/her own unique character, complete with body language and a sense of humor. Finally, Sarah is hilarious. She's so sarcastic and frank it's funny, and she never once slips out of character.

Granted, the characters are not quite as filled out or varied as those created by Austen, but I think the parallel still holds. Regardless of whether this reaches mastery or not, Red is a fun couple of hours with lots of shooting (explosions, too), funny lines, and very likeable characters. What more could one want in a movie?

My Rating: T (violence, language, mild sexual content)

Snow Whites and the Fourteen Dwarves?

Two Snow White movies in one year! Both have trailers, so I thought I'd write a few observations.

Mirror, Mirror with Lily Collins, Julia Roberts, and Armie Hammer

Page at imdb.com

Snow White and the Huntsman with Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, and Chris Hemsworth

Official website

MM has by far the better actress for Snow White. I've never seen the Twilight series (and never care to), but I can say right now that I just don't like Kristen Stewart in the role of Snow White. Stewart's kind of "beauty" is purely fashionable - a pouty chin and not much else to recommend her. Her lips are "red as blood"? Her hair "black as night"? I don't think so. Plus, the story has had to be altered a little ("You are the fairest, but there is another destined to surpass you") because no one with eyes to see would think Kristen Stewart is fairer than Charlize Theron, the evil queen. On the other hand, Lily Collins has been given black hair, white skin, and red lips to fit with her character. Julia Roberts plays the queen as a convincingly (slightly) fading beauty who isn't quite as pretty as Snow White.

Unfortunately, SWATH looks like a far better fairy tale than MM. For one thing, MM looks like it has been hopelessly updated. The characters speak in modern language made harsher by their American accents. And changing it so that Snow White saves the prince? Not loving that idea. (Although, as an aside, the trailer seems to hint that this doesn't really happen.) In contrast, SWATH has a Lord of the Rings/Eragon oldness that I rather like. Additionally, though Snow White goes into battle, she still must be saved by the kiss. However, that retainment of the climax in the fairy tale also creates a contradiction in the movie. Why make her a "tough girl" if she's going to end up being saved by her man anyway? That only makes her look worse - she tries to be "tough" (read: like a man) and take care of herself, but she pathetically fails. Unless the kiss is before the battle, which would be completely anticlimactic and ridiculous.

Just as a footnote, the content in both movies looks borderline. For SWATH, I understand that someone obsessed with beauty (like the queen) would do some pretty evil and/or eyebrow-raisingly bizarre things. Like bathing in white liquid. Or stabbing a man in bed. Plus, I don't mind sexy content (within reason) as long as it is portrayed as bad. So the content in SWATH, though it appears not as good as I would like, is excusable. But the content in MM looks like it's supposed to be funny. It also looks like the movie will be marketed to tweens. (With that kind of humor? I hope teens and up don't think it's side-splittingly funny.) With both these elements, and MM may cross a line or two with its content.

Concerning He Knew He Was Right

(Based on the book by Anthony Trollope.) Louis Trevelyan (Oliver Dimsdale) is a happily married man. He has a beautiful, spirited young wife named Emily (Laura Fraser) and an adorable son. But, as he tells his good friend Hugh Stanbury (Stephen Campbell Moore), marriage isn't always a bed of roses. In fact, Louis is very worried about his marriage. Emily's godfather Colonel Osborne (Bill Nighy) has been seeing a lot of her lately. He's known for dallying about with married women, and Emily is so inexperienced in society. Of course, Louis doesn't really suspect her of doing anything wrong. But then, Colonel Osborne seems to have a way with women...

Yes, the main storyline is incredibly depressing. Louis and Emily split very early in the four-hour movie, and Louis deteriorates as the hours march on. But this movie is made worthwhile by the side characters and the humor.

First and foremost comes Dorothy Stanbury (Caroline Martin), Hugh's sister. She's the sweetest, nicest girl one could ever hope to meet. To perfect her character, she's not particularly pretty. Beautiful women are all right in movies, but every once in a while it's nice to see one that is realistically nice-looking. There are other likeable side characters as well. Hugh comes to mind, and, to a certain extent, Emily's sister Nora (Christina Cole). Others, unfortunately, have too little screen time to make the list.

Then there are the funny side characters. Reverand Thomas Gibson (David Tennant) is absolutely hilarious. He's awkward and has no sense of humor whatsoever. Best of all, he's got a great propensity to get himself into bad situations, but no courage to get himself out. Equally funny are the sisters that both have their eyes on him - the French girls, Camilla (Claudie Blakley) and Arabella (Fenella Woolgar). Their scenes with him and with their mother are very, very funny. Then there's Miss Stanbury (Anna Massey), Dorothy and Hugh's aunt. She's a stiff sort of highly religious woman who likes to boss everyone around, but tends to make snap judgments about things.

The only downsides to this movie are: The somewhat unfavorable protrayal of religious characters, the main storyline, and a nerve-jangling American woman who pops up everyone once in a while. Ugh, just the thought of her painfully bad imitation American accent is enough to send even a strong-stomached person into a tailspin. I think the actress imitated a Canadian accent instead of an American one - I've seen a Canadian television show wherein some of the characters had similar accents. Whatever the reason, she does not sound like a genuine American.

Fortunately, with the exception of the main storyline, the annoying parts of the movie are fairly ignorable. The writing, costumes, and acting are wonderful, and so many characters are either likeable, funny, or even both. He Knew He Was Right is definitely worth the four hours if you are a British mini-series fan.

My Rating: T (marriage disintigration, thematic elements, child kidnapped by its father)

Reviews of similar movies:

• Upstairs Downstairs
• Wives and Daughters
• Cranford

In Relation To Nanny McPhee

Cedric Brown (Colin Firth) has a problem. Seven of them, actually. They're his children, who have gotten rid of seventeen consecutive nannies. He loves them very much but, well, the best, toughest nanny in the land just ran away from them screaming her head off. Meanwhile, the scullery maid Evangeline (Kelly Macdonald) pines away, knowing that a self-respecting man - possibly like Mr. Brown, although Evangeline would never say so - couldn't fall in love with an illiterate servant like her. Enter Nanny McPhee (Emma Thompson), who claims to be a "government nanny." The kids know better, of course. She's a witch. That's the only explanation for her dreadful face and unusual abilities.

There are dozens of reasons why I love this movie, including but not limited to: Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, seven adorable children, Evangeline, a food fight, and a breathtakingly beautiful dress. Colin Firth is a wonderful actor, and poor Mr. Brown only tries to do his best for his children. Plus, the way he talks to his deceased wife is very sweet. Emma Thompson is fabulous as Nanny McPhee, which is to be expected since she wrote the screenplay. The kids are so cute, especially little Sebastion (Samuel Honywood), known to my circle of friends as "the secret toast one." Evangeline is a sweetheart, although I wish she was in a few more scenes. The food fight and the dress... well, you'll have to watch the movie to find out more about those.

The other thing in this movie that I would like to touch on is the idea of personal responsibility for one's actions. At one point in the movie, Nanny McPhee asks one of the children, "Are you prepared to accept the consequences?" This line neatly wraps up the whole idea of Nanny McPhee. Throughout nearly the entire movie, she gives the children a taste of exactly what would happen if they did what they said. The results are, of course, catastrophic from the children's point of view, and they eventually get the idea that well-behaved children have a better time than ill-behaved scoundrels. This sort of laissez-faire approach wouldn't work with real-life parenting, but it works for Nanny McPhee because she has a magical stick that helps accelerate and accentuate the consequences of the children's actions.

Personal responsibility, wonderful acting, a hilarious script, and adorable kids. What more could one want in a movie?

My Rating: OK (mild rude humor, mild sexual content and references)


Reviews of Similiar Books or Movies:

• In Relation To Howl's Moving Castle
• Concerning Inkheart

In Relation To Howl's Moving Castle

(Written by Diana Wynne Jones.) Life isn't fair. Sophie certainly knows the truth in that statement. After all, she's eldest of three sisters in her family, and, as simply everyone knows, the eldest never succeeds in life. Sure enough, when her father dies, her sisters get placed into good jobs that put them in the way of happy lives, while Sophie is stuck making hats in the back of her family's hat shop. To top it all off, the Witch of the Waste shows up in the shop one day and turns Sophie into an old woman! Sophie simply can't stay in her old life looking like an old woman. She goes to seek her fortune, and happens to stumble across the moving castle that belongs to the wicked Wizard Howl. It is said that no young woman is safe with Howl, who either collects their souls or eats their hearts (it depends on who is telling the story). But then, that isn't a problem for Sophie - she isn't a young woman any longer.

I absolutely love this book! The characters, dialogue, narration, and imagination are just delightful. Best of all, the authoress has managed to write a hopeful book in which the heroine and especially the hero are flawed and almost nothing is as it seems. I could detail the many ways in which things are not as they seem, but that would take a long time and give away much of the book. Instead, I'll focus a bit on the book's personality.

Howl's Moving Castle naturally takes on the personality of Sophie. After all, she is the main character, and books often display the same characteristics as their main characters. With Sophie, what you see is what you get. She is an unpretentious determined young lady who puts her mind to whatever task she has at hand, whether she knows exactly where she's going or not. For example, when the Wicked Witch of the Waste turns her into an old woman, Sophie makes up her mind to leave and does so. However, she likes to resort to secrecy and even tricks now and again when honesty fails.

This trait, the trait of resorting to secrecy and tricks when honesty fails, is the predominant trait in Howl's Moving Castle. In other words, deceptive appearances abound. I won't detail all of them here, but there is more than one red herring dragged across the trail throughout the course of the book. Honesty is used by the authoress until it is no longer useful, and then the secrecy and tricks come into play. The real challenge for the reader is the ability to discern which are the honest parts and which are the tricks. The two are mixed together rather liberally, and are only really separated at the end.

My Rating: OK (violence, scary ideas)

Regarding How to Train Your Dragon

Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) is not your typical Viking. He's not tall, and his arms and legs are like toothpicks. He doesn't mind so very much - except that he and his father have nothing in common and rarely talk about anything. Desperately wanting to heal this divide, Hiccup wants to kill one of the dragons that attack the village at regular intervals. But not just any dragon. He wants to kill the Night Fury dragon that no one has ever seen. When he finally lands a hit on the one that has been terrorizing the village, it crashes a distance away. No one else believes he actually hit it. Hiccup goes out to find his dragon and, if need be, finish it off. But he soon discovers a surprising truth that never occurred to him or any of the other Vikings - that dragons might not be so evil after all.

The biggest thing that jumped out at me about this movie is that it's so clean for a Dreamworks production. Based on the animated Dreamworks movies I've seen (Madagascar, Kung Fu Panda, and Over the Hedge) and especially on those I haven't seen (the Shrek trilogy), Dreamworks doesn't really make movies that are tiny-kid friendly. I would never let a five year-old son of mine watch Madagascar. However, How to Train Your Dragon has just one crude part, and on a scale of one to ten, it's not all that crude.

Besides being cleaner than a lot of animated movies I've seen, I also enjoyed how the dragons were portrayed more like dogs than people. Don't get me wrong; I love the mice in Cinderella. But it can get a little tiresome to have animals and people speak to each other - particularly in a world where people are pushing "animal rights." But the dragons are very definitely not able to speak. In fact, Toothless reminds me a lot of a couple different dogs I know.

This dogginess of Toothless helps make the relationship between him and Hiccup pretty real. Toothless's (sometimes) misguided attempts at trying to please Hiccup are so sweet, and Hiccup really throws himself into training and caring for his dragon. They're just a boy and his (really, really cool) pet.

Which brings me to the other relationships in the movie. Hiccup's relationship with his dad Stoick (Gerard Butler) is definitely strained. This can get a little tiresome when it's in too many movies, but it didn't come across as a lecture to parents; just a reason why Hiccup had to do what he had to do on his own. The relationship I really liked was the one between Astrid (America Ferrara) and Hiccup. America is a tough, no-nonsense girl - but Hiccup ends up being superior in the fighting skills department. Finding a balance between "tough girl" and "girl power" is a delicate business, and not too many animated movies have been able to pull it off.

My Rating: AGC

Picture from impawards.com

On His Girl Friday

Hildy Johnson (Rosalind Russell) used to be married to Walter Burns (Cary Grant), the editor of a newspaper. But then she got fed up with his selfish ways - and his habit of treating her more like a colleague than a woman. So she divorced him. But when she shows up at his office a few months later to tell him she's getting remarried, Burns devises a series of tricks to get her back into the newspaper business - and his life.

Pros: The snappy dialogue is kind of cool. People talk really quickly, and the action hardly ever stops. There are a few funny scenes (after all, it is a Cary Grant movie). There's a surprising plot twist or two.

Cons: It wasn't all that funny. *Spoiler Warning* Throughout the movie, Hildy insists that she wants to be a stay-at-home mom. But in the end, she seems to put those aspirations in the back seat. While there's nothing wrong with a working mom per se, I don't like the inference that working is better than staying at home to raise a family. Also, the movie ends with a hint that Hildy and Walter's life together will be much like it was before - with Walter treating Hildy like a colleague instead of a wife.

My Rating: OK (thematic elements including a murder)

Picture from movieberry.com

In Relation To The Lion King

Simba (Jonathan Taylor Thomas/Matthew Broderick) is a spoilt little lion cub whose daddy happens to be king of the African plain. When Simba's uncle Scar (Jeremy Irons) tries to kill Simba so he can be next in line to the throne, his plans go awry. He decides to go a step further and kill both Simba and his father. Simba escapes, but, unable to face his mother, he runs away. It will be years before he finds the strength to return and free his kingdom from Scar's tyranny.

Pros: I absolutely love the music in this movie! The singing songs are good (written by Elton John), but the score is incredible. I'm not a big fan of Hans Zimmer, the composer, in general, because I think his music pretty much all sounds the same (John Williams's music is the same way), but I believe this might be his best work. The animation is pretty good, too. The faces were surprisingly expressive. And there's something about the king's death and the next-to-last scene that is so powerful. Don't ask me why; I don't know! Rafiki the baboon (Robert Guillaume) is awesome!

Cons: There's more "guy humor" than I like in this movie, but then, I'm not a guy.

Note: For those of you who haven't seen the trailer for the Broadway play, here it is, courtesy of a blog called A Rose in Bloom.

My Rating: AGC (but I know kids who are terrified by the hyenas)

In Relation To Secondhand Lions

When young Walter (Haley Joel Osmont) is dropped off on his old great-uncles' farm, his mother tells him he'll only have to stay a few weeks. Two months at the most. Walter knows better. At first he thinks he's stuck in the middle of nowhere with the two crabbiest men on the planet. Uncle Hub (Robert Duvall) and Uncle Garth (Michael Caine) are so crabby, in fact, they shoot shotguns at traveling salesmen. But then Walter's curiosity starts getting the better of him as he begins to wonder about their past... How did they become filthy rich? Where do they hide all their money? And who is the beautiful woman in the picture he found in the attic?

Pros: Anyone who knows a crusty old man will think this movie is hilarious. I must admit, it wasn't quite like what I expected, though. Half of the movie is taken up with a yarn Uncle Garth spins about what he and Hub were doing during the forty years they were missing. But that's a good thing! I love adventure stories that take place in Africa!

Cons: There are fairly slow parts, but none of them last long.

My Rating: T (uncaring mother, steady stream of mild language)

Picture from impawards.com

Regarding The Rescuers

Little Penny (Michelle Stacy) is in terrible trouble. Held captive on a riverboat by an evil woman, Penny tosses messages in bottles into the water, hoping against hope that one of her bottles will end up in the right hands. Or paws. As it turns out, the Rescue Aid Society, a group of mice from all over the world, finds one of her messages and sends two of its members out to save her. Or one of its members and its janitor. Miss Bianca (Eva Gabor), the agent who is chosen for the mission, chooses Bernard (Bob Newhart), the superstitious and timid janitor, as her companion. Together they have to find Penny and rescue her before it's too late.

Pros: I think this movie is so funny! Miss Bianca is so sweet, and Bernard is hilarious - though my favorite characters are Orville (Jim Jordan) and Evinrude (James MacDonald). Oh, and Penny is an adorable little girl!

Cons: I think Bernard's superstitions are funny, but I'm not sure they're entirely appropriate for a kids' movie.

My Rating: AGC

Picture from impawards.com

Regarding You Can't Take It with You

Anthony P. Kirby (Edward Arnold) wants to build a monopoly in weapons production. Only thing is, he needs to buy twelve blocks of land that a fellow businessman was going to use for a factory in order to force a merge with said businessman. It's easy enough to buy eleven of the blocks he needs, but one stubborn old man named Martin Vanderhof (Lionel Barrymore) won't leave the house on his block. Vanderhof's family and one or two of his friends live with him, and all of them are a little strange. Except Alice (Jean Arthur), his granddaughter, who is also A.P. Kirby's son Tony's (James Stewart) fiancee. Needless to say, things become a little crazy before everything is straightened out.

Pros: I really like Jimmy Stewart. It's pretty funny. The people who live in the Vanderhof house are hilarious, from Alice's mother Penny (Spring Byington), who thinks she's a playwright, to the cook's fiance Donald (Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson), who's an off-beat sort of guy. The message of the movie is great - do what you love or you'll never really be happy.

Cons: Alice's sister Essie (Ann Miller) is really annoying.

My Rating: AGC

On That Darn Cat!

Patti Randall (Hayley Mills) is always stirring up the police department with her "hallucinations about people in trouble." So when her cat, D.C., comes home wearing a wristwatch around his neck with "HEL" scratched on the casing, Patti immediately jumps to the conclusion that someone was trying to write "HELP." It naturally follows, in her brain, that the watch belongs to a woman who was kidnapped during a bank robbery. She immediately goes to the FBI and gets Agent Zeke Kelso (Dean Jones) involved, much to the chagrin of her older sister, Ingrid (Dorothy Provine).

Pros: I think this movie is very funny, in a '60s, Disney kind of way. The next-door neighbor, Mrs. MacDougall (Elsa Lanchester) is hilarious. The other side characters, including Patti's friend Canoe (Tom Lowell) and Ingrid's boyfriend Gregory Benson (Roddy McDowall) are also very funny. The story is whacky, which is a good thing.

Cons: Some parts are, admittedly, overdone. The bad guys are a bit much. D.C. is a shade too smart for an animal, but just a shade.

My Rating: OK (teenager smoking a pipe, frightening situations)

On Toy Story 3

Andy is growing up. He's leaving for college in a few short days and his mom makes him decide what to do with his old toys. Woody (Tom Hanks) will go with him to college and the other toys will go in the attic. However, a mixup happens and Woody and the gang end up at a daycare called Sunnyside, where happy little children come to play. That is, happy little children play in the Butterfly Room. The kids who populate the Caterpiller Room are another story. The toys must somehow find their way out of the daycare and back to Andy in one night - a task that requires all their courage and resourcefulness.

Pros: Somehow Pixar has been able to make each Toy Story movie better than the last when most studios can't even make a single decent sequel. This movie is both hilarious and touching, even for adults. The animation is stunning (notice the kids' hair and the cardboard boxes).

Cons: The only con was the short film Night & Day. It was boring and politically correct.

My Rating: AGC

Pertaining To Leatherheads

In the beginning, the rules were simple. There weren't any. A story that tries harder to be a romantic comedy than a sports movie, Leatherheads is about professional football before there were rules - or money. Brash, charming Dodge Connelly (George Clooney) finds it hard to adjust to life without football after his team goes bankrupt. So he jumps at the chance to revitalize his team by signing college football star and war hero Carter Rutherford (John Krasinski). Dodge soon finds himself at odds with Carter over who exactly is the big dog on the team - and over Lexie Littleton (Renee Zellweger), a saucy reporter who has an agenda of her own.

Pros: The football action scenes are funny. I also like the fistfight by the railroad tracks. Renee Zellweger plays an awesome fashionable 1920s gal.

Cons: Lexie's mouth can be pretty dirty. In fact, I skipped parts of two scenes with her and Dodge because I got tired of the sexual references.

My Rating: MT (sexual references)