Really Bad Actors

Since I love movies and, by extension, love to talk about actors, I have decided to compile a list of really bad actors. I won't say these are the "worst" actors I've ever seen, because it's difficult to judge actors on one or two performances - which is about as much as I've seen of most of these men. However, I can safely say that these are some of the worst actors I've ever seen.

1. Peter Fonda. Not only can he not act, but he's fer durn sure not good looking (which, I must admit, sometimes helps me get past lacking acting abilities). As a good friend of mine once said, "Saying Peter Fonda is handsome is like saying a porcupine is soft." That about sums it up.
2. Henry Fonda. Yes, the Fonda men top the list. I once had the misfortune of watching an episode of an old show called The Deputy. Henry's acting performance was so bad, I was completely confused about a vital part in the story. It's difficult to explain, but suffice it to say that Henry's idea of "losing consciousness" looks more like "oh, he's pretending to lose consciousness to trick the bad guys!"
3. Bill Holden. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of a softie when it comes to heroes and heroines. In my view, a decent love story is a requirement to a good movie or book (with a few exceptions). But Bill was the worst romantic actor I've ever seen, reducing otherwise sweet scenes to laughingstocks.
4. Gary Cooper. Bleah. High Noon was an awful movie. Even putting aside the ballad popping up in strange places and Grace Kelly's all-wrong Quaker character, Gary Cooper absolutely ruined the movie. I must admit he was pretty decent in For Whom the Bell Tolls (another awful movie), but maybe that was because he was opposite Ingrid Bergman, the greatest actress ever.
5. Nicolas Cage. After I first watched National Treasure, I told myself, "Nicolas Cage must be related to someone, because he could never have gotten so famous purely on acting talent." Turns out I was right. He's the nephew of some famous director whose name slips my mind. Thought so.
6. John Wayne. I realize this is a very polarizing pick. Either you love 'im or you hate 'im. I'm not quite on the "hate" side (I love The Quiet Man), but I must admit he was one of the worst actors I've ever seen. Anytime he had to inject some emotion into his character, he fell on his face.
7. Harrison Ford. I must admit, I love Han Solo. But some of his lines were a bit shaky. And I like Linus Larrabee in Sabrina. But some of his lines were a bit shaky. Finally, I can't stand Jack Ryan in Clear and Present Danger. (I mean, going from Alec Baldwin, who's not so great himself but was at least handsome, in The Hunt for Red October to Harrison Ford?! No contest.)
8. An honorable mention goes to Elizabeth Taylor, who couldn't make this list because she's a woman.

(There is no "really bad actresses" post in my future, because famous actresses are generally pretty good at what they do. Except, apparently, for some I haven't seen in any movies, such as J-Lo.)

I would advise you to be wary if you ever come across a movie with one of these seven men - unless, of course, you don't mind unconvincing acting.

Regarding The Love Letter

Scott Corrigan (Campbell Scott) is going to be married to a wonderful young lady named Debra (Daphne Ashbrook). When Deb's eye is attracted to a beautiful wedding dress in the window of an antique store, the couple ventures in to take a look around. Scott discovers an old Civil War-era desk, which he promptly buys. When he brings it home, he discovers a letter hidden in a secret compartment of the desk - and begins to communicate with a woman who has been dead for a hundred years.

Pros: Um... *Scratches head* I liked Scott's mother, Beatrice (Estelle Parsons). I also liked Deb.

Cons: Where to begin? First, the acting was terrible and the writing was worse. Elizabeth, the woman who falls in love with Scott through his letters, was so modern it was literally painful. (Painful because I was laughing so hard my side hurt.) **Spoiler Warning** Plus, what was up with the "I'm in the past and the future, only I'm different people"? Huh? That smacks of reincarnation to me.

My Rating: AGC

On Spider-Man

Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is just an ordinary geeky high school senior with giant glasses - and a giant crush on his beautiful classmate, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). But MJ barely even notices he exists, except to stand up for him when he misses the schoolbus and has to chase it for about ten blocks. Then one day, Peter is on a field trip to a research laboratory and is bitten by a "super spider" that has been genetically designed to include the characteristics of several different natural spiders. The next morning, he has powers beyond his imagination.

Pros: Spider-Man is one of my favorite heroes of all time. He's a regular guy (I mean, despite his special powers) who has to deal with his problems like any other guy. Of course, his problems aren't exactly like any other guy's... but you get my drift. MJ isn't too bad, either. She really annoyed me the first time I watched this movie, but she's grown on me since then. I feel really sorry for Harry Osborn (James Franco), and Willem Dafoe plays an awesome insane bad guy! The scene with him and the mirror reminds me of Gollum/Smeagol in The Two Towers and The Return of the King - and Dafoe is every bit as good as Andy Serkis was!

Cons: I hate the way this movie is considered a "family movie." It's rated PG-13; it is not a family movie!

My Rating: T (mild sexual content, scary)

Picture from fandomania.com

Pertaining To Jamaica Inn

Miss Mary Yellen (Maureen O'Hara) has recently lost her mother. She pulled up stakes in Ireland and is en route to the Cornish coast to live with her aunt Patience (Marie Ney). When she arrives, she discovers that Jamaica Inn, which is run by her aunt and uncle, has a very bad reputation. For what, she doesn't know. But she soon finds out - and has to flee for her life.

Pros: Personally, I really like Maureen O'Hara. This was her first movie, and though she was a little weak on the acting in parts, I liked her character and she was absolutely beautiful. Plus, her facial expressions are hilarious! I liked the hero, too, and Charles Laughton, who plays Sir Humphrey Pengallon, is one of my favorite old-time actors. There were a few surprising developments in the storyline. (After all, it is a Hitchcock!)

Cons: The first scene was so badly done I wondered what on earth I was doing watching this movie. *Cough, cough* But it got much better. Also, I feel like I've watched and read dozens of stories with wreckers. They're all essentially the same: Desperate characters who need money badly... they cover up beacons so ships crash onto the rocks... then they murder the people on board.

My Rating: T (mild sexual content)

Picture from movieberry.com

Concerning The Sixth Sense

Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) is a great child psychologist. Heck, he even got an award from the mayor of Philadelphia for his efforts and successes in helping troubled children and their families. Then one of his former patients, a young man he couldn't help, shows up. This traumatic meeting scars Malcolm so deeply he feels he must atone for his failure in some way. So when he comes across a patient who reminds him of his failure, he throws himself into his work, neglecting his loving wife in the process. But he has no idea what is really troubling little Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osmont).

Pros: This movie is absolutely awesome. The writing is fabulous, and the acting amazing. (Yes, Bruce Willis was amazingly good in this movie - at least for him!) Haley Joel Osmont was particularly great. I love the religious angle, which is seen in the movie, but not really a big part of it. As I can't really say anything else without spoiling everything, I'll just say that it's one of the best movies I have ever seen.

Cons: I really had to think about and discuss some aspects of the movie in order to understand how all the pieces fit together. But the pieces pretty much fit like a jigsaw puzzle!

My Rating: MT (intensity, sexual content involving a married couple)

Picture from impawards.com

In Relation To Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

Life is perfect in the Hundred Acre Wood. Pooh is with his best friend, Christopher Robin, and the pair of buddies spend the entire day playing. But when morning comes, Pooh finds Christopher Robin is gone - and the only clue to his whereabouts is in a very honey-smeared note on a honeypot that Pooh found outside his door. Pooh and his friends are horrified when Owl deciphers the contents of the note and discovers that Christopher Robin has gone to a terrible place called "Skull." Pooh instantly sets out on an adventure to find and rescue his friend.

Pros: I'm a sucker for Pooh Bear. He's so adorable, and Tigger is so funny. I like the rest of the characters, too, even down to Eeyore. And Rabbit, whom I couldn't stand when I was younger. There are some great songs in this movie, including Owl's spine-chilling song about adventure, and Rabbit's know-it-all song about maps.

Cons: When I was little I had the hardest time figuring out the main point of this movie. Even though Christopher Robin isn't always with Pooh, they're still together? Huh? I thought that only applied to God and sweethearts! But I think I've figured it out. If Pooh has a great friend like Christopher Robin, even though they're not always together, Pooh is never alone. He always has Christopher Robin to back him, even though they're apart.

My Rating: AGC

Regarding Shadow of a Doubt

The Newton family is falling apart. At least, according to the oldest child, Charlie (Teresa Wright). Named Charlotte after her uncle Charlie (Joseph Cotten), young Charlie is determined to stop her family from sliding into a rut. On an impulse, she decides to send her mother's kid brother a telegram begging him to come for a visit. Then she finds that he had the same idea and was already on his way. Elated, young Charlie eagerly welcomes him into the Newton household, completely unaware of his dark secret.

Pros: This is Hitchcock at his best! Suspense drips from this movie, particularly in the later scenes when young Charlie begins to catch on to her uncle. Oh, and I love Teresa Wright. She wasn't a particularly great actress, but her characters were usually sweet, good girls. And the dad's friend Herbie (Hume Cronyn) is hilarious!

Cons: As is usually the case with Hitchcock, this movie has a few slow parts, particularly in the beginning. Plus, the whole waltzing couples thing got a little annoying...

My Rating: OK (murder)

Picture from hollywoodoutbreak.com